


Reverie

by selfishdreamer



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Magic, True Love, Visions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 02:37:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12379149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selfishdreamer/pseuds/selfishdreamer
Summary: a state of being pleasantly lost in one's thoughts; a daydream.





	Reverie

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for the support on my last piece! promise this one is a bit more light hearted

Zhenya had known Sidney for years before he had been to Pittsburgh. He was, quite literally, the man of Zhenya’s dreams. 

Just like his Mama, Zhenya was prone to visions. He saw fairly insignificant snippets of other people’s futures and stored them in his head like photographs, familiar moments for him to seek comfort in. He saw his friend Alyosha, years in the future, dancing at his wedding. He saw Kostya teaching his baby to skate, Anya singing to her grandmother, Olenka watering flowers and Nikolai at his son’s graduation. 

There were no rules to Zhenya’s visions other than the certainty that the subjects of them are people Zhenya has or will know and that the visions are seemingly never about him. 

Zhenya’s favorite vision was his one about Sidney. Sidney was most likely in his fifties in the vision, hair graying at the edges and wrinkles pulling at his face. He was sitting on the couch with a man whose face Zhenya could not see, his legs over the man’s lap and his hand linked to his. Sidney was holding a cup of tea and, after a few seconds, was smiling before laughing his goose honk laugh. The laugh was warm and youthful and Zhenya turned to the vision whenever he felt hollow. Zhenya didn’t know who the other man was or what he had done to elicit such a laugh but he didn’t get to know everything about his visions. 

***

Months after the vision first appeared, Zhenya arrived, tired and frightened, on the porch of the Lemieux house in Pittsburgh. 

His already limited English was hindered by the heavy exhaustion that plagued him from the events of the past two days and he spent most of the introduction just struggling to keep his eyes open. 

Mario was not intimidating but rather welcoming to Zhenya as he offered him food in his own home, smiling as Zhenya’s eyes lit up as the smells from the kitchen seeped into the hall. It was here where Zhenya had met Sidney for the first time. Sidney looked vaguely familiar to Zhenya in a way he couldn’t place and his presence was the one thing that made Zhenya at ease. They had encountered each other before at Worlds but never without a helmet, so Zhenya spent the entirety of the evening more confused than normal trying to figure it out. 

It wasn’t until Gonch said something, probably at Zhenya’s expense, that made Sidney laugh that Zhenya recognized him as the man from his vision. He could see the similarities now, the shifted curve of his smile and the bright twinkle in his eyes. Although thirty or so years separated the two Sidney’s, the only thing that would change about him was the color of his hair and the lines on his skin. 

***  
Zhenya’s visions had always felt meaningless, sweet tidbits that he had never needed to know but were there for his own comfort. They were similar to the meaningless stories one creates in dreams, something to reminisce and waste time on but not something that heavily impacts your life. 

In fact, before his visions were discovered to be true, he had thought they were just dreams. Maybe he could have passed off the first as a coincidence but when his friends described the moments to him, exactly as he had seen them, he knew something was different. 

He remembered how his mother had explained it to him, how Zhenya was so lucky to share the same gift she had received. Zhenya never felt gifted, just different. But it never weighed on him too much because he never got visions of the bad and scary moments, only the sweet and pure. 

However, the image he had of Sidney began to plague him. The vision that had once brought him happiness had managed to make him completely devastated. Zhenya had never meant to fall in love with Sidney. It should have been easy not to, now that Zhenya knew that they wouldn’t end up together, that someone else would someday make him so happy. But it wasn’t easy. 

Sidney was easily the most lovable person Zhenya had ever known. From the way he skated down the ice with ease to the soft voice he used when he spoke to his sister, Zhenya found himself overly fond of everything he did. His unhealthy admiration turned to debilitating devotion all too quickly and Zhenya knew there was nothing he could do to stop his heart from falling. 

But Zhenya could love from afar. His visions had taught him that much. He was able to observe so many of his loved one’s private lives, the parts he was hardly ever let in for. One might assume that the visions would bring Zhenya closer to the subjects but it only ever dragged him apart further, made him feel like an outsider in his own life. Even when Sidney showed him the rare sign of affections, a sweet glance during practice or even a hand squeeze during cellys, Zhenya never felt the pang of love he craved as he watched these actions being done to him. 

***  
His visions were always right until one day, one was wrong. 

Zhenya was not God after all. 

It had been a horrible tragedy: Alyosha had been walking home alone and was hit by a car, breaking his neck instantly. Zhenya had been in America so he didn’t hear the news until several hours after. Heartbroken at the loss of his friend, Zhenya searched for his vision of him, one last string to cling tightly to. 

To his surprise, it was gone. Zhenya had rewatched it so many times that he still remembered it, Alyosha twirling around a pretty young woman to the light rhythm of pianos, but he no longer had access to the clear image, like a movie within his mind. Alyosha would never be married, would never meet the young woman in the vision, would never dance the night away with her. So the vision, much like Alyosha now, would never come true, would never exist. 

The loss of Alyosha had taught him many things: the value of life, to appreciate the ones you love, pain, and a lesson on fairness. 

But, selfishly, it also taught him something else. It taught him that his visions were not set in stone. He had a shot with Sidney.

***  
After the initial excitement passed, Zhenya became increasingly nervous about his plan. What if, despite his efforts, Sidney would never feel the same about Zhenya? What if he would never be as good for Sidney as the other man in the video? Was Zhenya selfish enough to take that away from Sidney? 

Although Zhenya’s instincts lead him straight to Sidney’s heart, his head and his visions told him otherwise. 

The more he watched the vision, the longer he stared at vision Sidney’s expression and found joy, contentment and even love, the more he strayed away from Sidney. 

He knew he was hurting Sidney by icing him out, pushing him away from Zhenya’s true self, but Zhenya knew it was for his own good. 

***  
Ten years later, Zhenya lost his second vision. He had found out on his own this time after scrolling through his memories and finding the replacement of Kostya’s vision. He immediately called his friend to check up on him and to make sure he was still breathing but this time, he wasn’t the problem. 

Zhenya was heartbroken to hear that Kostya’s son had been born without breath, dead before ever really living. He had even let his steel wall down a little, letting tears fall down his face as he laced up his skates in the locker room. 

Sidney’s gaze had fallen upon him, the only one who dared to look at an upset Zhenya. Sidney, still single after so many years, had seemingly given up on loving Zhenya years ago. But he was still a good captain. 

After practice, Sidney stayed behind long after everyone else had left, waiting for Zhenya to come out of the showers. 

When he finally did, Sidney quietly let him dress before he started his investigation. 

“Are you okay, G? Did anything happen?”

“I’m just hear some bad news, Sid” Zhenya said, his voice failing to remain steady. 

“Oh, G. Do you want to talk about it?”

Zhenya was all set to say no as he usually did and move on, leaving Sidney with more questions than answers, but Zhenya was weak today and there was something about Sidney’s eyes that had gotten under his barrier. 

Before long, Zhenya was telling him about Alyosha and Kostya and even his visions. 

“Visions?” Sidney had asked inquisitively without a hint of judgement. 

“Like little memories. Future ones. I get them for all people I’m close with.”

“Do you have one of me?” Sidney asked, because of course he did. And Zhenya was already telling the truth so it was no use lying now. 

Zhenya nodded slowly, hoping Sidney wouldn’t ask the inevitable follow up.

“What’s it of?”

“It’s short. Just you on the couch with man who I’m not see face of laughing.”

“This man... Is he a friend?”

“No, Sid. More” 

Sidney had come out to him fairly recently but Zhenya knew he was still grappling with his sexuality, could tell he wasn’t sure he could ever be happy and in love. The thought pained Zhenya but he knew Sidney got his fairytale anyways.

“How long have you known?” Sidney asked, his voice much quieter than before. 

“Since before I met you. Long time now.”

“So you always knew?”

“Of course, Sidney. Is why I stopped”

“Stopped what?” 

Sidney was cute but oh so dumb. 

“Trying to make you love me.”

Zhenya knew Sidney wouldn’t respond so he left with a smile, walking out with a few tears still lingering in his eyes. 

***  
It took Sidney a few days to process Zhenya’s words as it always did but he had all of his thoughts formulated now. 

“I don’t care, G” Sidney said, catching up to Zhenya as he took the long strides to the car.  
“What?” G had said, coming to a halt in the sharp, February air. 

“I don’t care about the man in the vision, whoever he is. I care about you. I always have.”

“Sid, I can’t–” Zhenya began to protest, before getting abruptly cut off. 

“Your visions have gone away before. They can change now. I choose you, G”

And so maybe Zhenya was being the most selfish person in the world when he let Sidney kiss him in the cold air, the warmth of his breath nestling into Zhenya’s lungs.

Zhenya had spent his whole life living in his head, living everyone else’s dreams. He deserved to live in the real world. He deserved to be a little selfish. 

***

Even as they grew old and retired, Zhenya’s vision had never disappeared. At first, Zhenya had feared this was because Sidney would eventually leave him for that man and Zhenya would be all alone. But after years of I love yous and soft touches, Sidney had finally convinced Zhenya that he was there to stay. 

They lived through the rest of Zhenya’s visions together and created new ones. Adopting a daughter, coming out to the world, winning a few more cups together. Before long, the old vision of Sidney was pushed to the back of his mind, replaced by many more new ones. 

One day, after their daughter had left for college, Zhenya found himself sitting by himself, thinking over his life as he often did now. His heart felt warm and full at the thought of his beautiful family and amazing career. Zhenya, as his mother had said so long ago, truly was gifted. Gifted with the best life he could ever ask for. 

Before long, Sidney had joined him on the couch, a cup of tea in hand and small smile on his lips. They easily fit together, understood how to hang on each other after so many years together.

After all this time, Sidney was still the most beautiful man in the world to Zhenya. He was getting older, as was Zhenya, but he still looked just as perfect as he had the first night they met. 

They spent the next hour just talking about nothing, telling old stories and reminiscing on old friends. In the middle of a story about their daughter’s first birthday, Sidney let out a laugh, a big goose honk one in lieu of his newly adopted polite laugh. 

In no time at all, Zhenya realized that this had been his vision so long ago. That he had been the man. That he and Sidney were always meant to be together. 

“I love you so much, Sid” Zhenya said, for no particular reason at all other than pure contentment. So many years later and his emotions hadn’t faltered one bit. 

“I love you, too. Forever and ever.”

**Author's Note:**

> recommend listening to the song "reverie" by Issac Gracie


End file.
